How to bear your own imperfection?
W: How is it that God, who is almighty, made people so imperfect?
T: Don’t worry about your flaws. “The worry that depresses and discourages comes out of self-love, and supernatural sadness increases courage, stimulates the pursuit of good. We are happy then we feel weak and wretched. The more humbly we acknowledge that God will bestow on us without any merit, the more He will lower Himself down to give us graces. ”
W: It doesn’t bother you that you’re nothing before God? This thought seems paralyzing to me. I feel like an unnecessary mode in the great machine of the world just like the dust we walk on.
T: “I always have the same audacious confidence that I will become a great saint, because having no merit, I do not count on them, but trust in Him who is Power Himself and Holiness. Being content with my poor results, He Himself will raise me to Himself and, covering me with His infinite merits, will make me a saint. ”
W: I guess it’s easier for you. You knew from the beginning that you wanted to serve God and follow His path. I find it hard to accept that I have so many flaws. When I look at you, you seem so perfect and holy.
T: It’s not at all what you think. “I have come to terms with the idea that I will always see myself imperfect, and that is where I find joy. But on the other hand, I also know that God would not give me unreal desires, so even though I am so small, I can strive for holiness. It is impossible for me to become great, so I should bear as I am with all my imperfections; but I want to find a way to get to Heaven, some little way, very simple and very short, completely new – little way. ”
W: So here and now, in our lifetime, we are able to come to holiness, even though we are so weak that we keep failing and sinning?
T: You know, it’s kind of like being a little child. “At the beginning, when we try to stand on our own, but we don’t know how to walk yet. If we want to go upstairs to see our mother, we put our foot on the first step, but nothing! Every time we fall, we are too small to even climb that one step. ” You have to accept it. It is similar with our imperfection. God knows we can’t go through a lifetime without falling. He in his love wants to take us in his arms because he wants our happiness and our holiness.