Love eachother – accept yourselves
– Hi, Today I have an appointment with the young people from the Toruń community, to whom I will ask a few questions and I will be happy to get to know their point of view in our today’s episode. I have an appointment with them in the Toruń room, I hope they are waiting for me. I’m going to see and ask what interesting they have to say to me today!
– Hi! Welcome to the first episode of “Young to Young”. Today’s episode’s theme is “let’s get to know and accept ourselves.” We want to talk about what love is, why you should get to know yourself in this love and why accepting yourself is so important in the relationship and in love with another person. I do not know about you, but these questions flashed through my mind several times, so today we decided to find answers and ask what you think about what is hidden under the word love.
– Zuza will answer our questions first. Zuzia! I have 3 fantastic questions for you.
– Wow, 3?
– Tell me what hides behind the word “love” for you.
– “Love”? My first thought is family, meaning a large community. Opportunity to talk, support each other. It’s such a general strongest word, i.e. family, and of course friends.
– Relationship!Exactly! That’s the word I was looking for
– I will ask Klaudia the second question. Klaudia, what does “love” mean to you?
– For me, love means the most beautiful feeling that a person should have for himself, another person; it is also family, friends, various relationships that we should have around us and… that’s about it.
– Dominika, what does the word “love” mean for you?
– The word love means presence, staying with the other person, showing feelings and emotions, but also accepting the other person despite their faults and weaknesses.
– We already know what young people think about it. We know what our young people from the Toruń community told us, but today I would also like to ask our guests about it. Today with us are present Ania and Grzegorz Cieśniarscy, whom we warmly welcome and thank you for wanting to take part in our project and tell us about what love means for them, what it means for them to get to know themselves and accept themselves.
Ania and Grzegorz are privately parents of four children, so they will certainly be able to tell us something nice and interesting about how to accept themselves with their advantages and disadvantages, both of which are many. That is why I am giving you the floor. What is most important to you and what is hidden under the word and under the concept of “love”?
– The first thing that comes to my mind when I think what love is, is the answer: “God is love.” And everything is included in this! The awareness that God sent his Son to earth for us, who died for us on the cross, makes it immediately apparent that love is devotion.
– This is what the Lord Jesus said: “Whoever gives up their life for others, the one loves.” For me, these words mean that it is simply giving oneself to others, for the good of another human being. It is an expression of love. Often times, people think that getting killed is the easiest way to do this. It is more about giving your time, abilities and skills with your whole life, everyday life; devote ourselves to our children, spouses or others we love. To strive for whats best for them.
– Love on many levels, which is realized for you – from what you said, Grzegorz – and in such love for my children and for my spouse. And once we have that love, we have that devotion. And in order to surrender, you need to know how to do it. What for the other person will be a kind of nice devotion – what good can it give her. Therefore, we come to the point that we have to get to know each other, that we have to get to know the other person, ourselves … So why get to know ourselves? First, I would ask our young Toruń community what they think about this self-knowledge. So for this moment I give you the floor!
– Zuza, why do you think it’s worth getting to know yourself?
– First of all, to know our value. To see your goals in life and pursue them. It seems to me that everything will be achieved if you have such an inner desire to do something.
– Klaudia, why is it worth getting to know yourself?
– It is worth getting to know ourselves because we can strive for self-realization. We are more confident when we get to know ourselves, our character traits, and also our body; we will feel more comfortable even with friends, when we know ourselves.
– Why do you think it’s worth getting to know yourself?
– I believe that it is worth getting to know yourself, to know what is bad for us and what is good and to be able to pursue your passions and dreams.
– Okay. Thank you for another nice answer. Is it so important for you to get to know yourself and how to come to know yourself?
– Certainly it is very difficult, because we get to know each other throughout our entire lives; every situation, every difficult event in our life – as well as the beautiful ones – put us before some kind of test. Besides, we meet a lot of people who influence our lives. You actually do this learning throughout your life, so it’s important that we try to get to know ourselves before entering
in any relationship. It’s important to know who you are more or less. It is known that we will never really find out. But to get into a relationship with anyone – just like you said – you need to know who you are, to know what you can offer that someone else. And only then does the relationship get to know each other.
– And will the question of knowing what I want, what I strive for, also be important in this concept?
– Of course! Because it comes from who we are, and to know it, we have to get to know ourselves,
and the consequence of this is what I want in my life and also – going back to the previous question
about love – which I can or must give up for my loved ones. Therefore, first we need to find out what we really want. And I can’t, I mean, I can imagine why someone doesn’t want to know himself: because we discover and fear traits in ourselves that we don’t like. So sometimes it’s better not to go into it, not to cover it – because life will be easier. It also results from the fact that we are afraid of being accepted by others and we need – I think – to believe that since God created us and we are His children, we are good “from the bottom”. Because of this, we should not be afraid of those things that are “not cool”, but only fight them. But here again – to fight them, you have to find out what they are, so get to know yourself. And when we do it, we can give ourselves to others, already in full self-acceptance – of course not on the principle: “that’s how you created me, that’s how you have me and love me as I am.” Only knowing what is my forte, what is my positive qualities – give it without limits. In contrast, limit the things that I don’t like and try to fight them.
– For me, it is also important that we know our “cardinal” goals, that is – you know – that our goal is to pursue holiness, but you also need to know your reactions to changes in life, because it writes very different scenarios. The fact that I planned for myself as a young girl, that I would be an interior designer, and somewhere in my life guided me so much that it did not work out, is also a very important moment. How did I react to that? Did I sit down where it didn’t work out and start crying over it? Did I pull myself together, gave it to God and went on? For me it is also important in self-acceptance and getting to know myself.
– Here you touched on this very important topic – self-acceptance. Well, why is accepting yourself in a relationship, in this being with another human being, so important? Sometimes our points of view are completely different. Let us present the points of view of self-acceptance in our relationship of young people from the Toruń community.
– Zuzia, do you think that self-acceptance in a relationship is important and why?
-I think so, because if we do not accept ourselves, we can close ourselves to the world, fall into depression, because if we shut up, we will not admit any people, even those closest to us. So it’s important to accept yourself and open up to others.
– Why is self-acceptance important in relationships?
– Self-acceptance is very important in relationships. Nowadays, we have a lot of photos posted on the Internet, creating a person who is perfect, has no flaws at all – it is about character traits, as well as a figure that many girls – or guys – want to have, just to show the other person. Self-acceptance in a relationship is also very important, because if we don’t accept our boyfriend – or girlfriend – we won’t be able to trust her, nor will we be faithful to her.
– Why do you think self-acceptance is important in a relationship, if it is at all?
– Self-acceptance is very important in a relationship because if we do not accept ourselves, it will be difficult for us to relate to others because we will be afraid of being rejected by them.
– And now, in response to this, and in such a juxtaposition of different points of view, because it may seem completely different to us today, what is it like when we are actually married or we are parents, when we must be together, we must act together, we must show this common love … Then why is this self-acceptance so important? If it is at all? Because it may turn out that we think it is so important, and yet it is not.
– It is important, and it should happen before marriage. At the stage of looking for a partner, we should already know and accept ourselves in order to be able to give ourselves to others, because something like this appears – if I have features that I do not like and which I consider to be my faults and which may not be liked by someone – there is a temptation to do so. to hide them. This is already a form of insincerity. And at this point, if I am looking for someone with whom I want to spend my life, but hide from him, and I am not honest with him, fear arises even more. Especially when there is a fear that he may discover it and may not like it and maybe he will want to leave me. Possibly it will be very difficult for him and create additional problems in everything. So it requires tremendous trust in the other person, but the more I know myself, the more I accept myself, the easier it is to trust someone and expect it, because these difficult things become less problematic at some point.
– Here, too, is the second part of the commandment of love: “(…) and your neighbor as yourself.” The moment we do not love ourselves, we do not accept ourselves, it is dishonest to the people we say we love them.
– A long time ago I heard such a sentence, it is probably a statement of one of our saints – I do not know whether Francis or someone else: “You cannot love others without loving yourself.”
– for me, a very important test was the appearance of children, because children show us our features that we absolutely do not know of.
– most of all, they generate situations, certain reactions, very surprising and unpleasant, and then you have to pass the test.
– And here Grzegorz was a great help for me and his love for me and the fact that he reminds me from time to time that it is important to work on the “new me” that I discovered in my relationship with our children. I would also like to emphasize that it is very important to me that our relationship with God, in this triangle, is more important than our relationship with children, because this is the first relationship we draw from, in which we get to know each other and get to know each other. our qualities, but also thanks to the fact that we try to give ourselves so completely, even though it is not easy, we support each other in relationships with others.
– This is the overarching relationship from which other relationships arise. What good we discover in this relationship, what we strengthen ourselves in, later it will bear fruit, and through the prism of this relationship with God, we can make decisions in relations with others. It builds a lot and gives a lot of strength.
– These are certainly very wise words! It is very good and nice to listen to you, because it is indeed a wonderful testimony. It seems appropriate to every human being especially for the people to whom we address these words, that is, to people who stand somewhere on the verge of this decision: whether they want to be a wife, husband; do they want to have children; who I want to be what i want to do with myself. What you are talking about will help in making this decision – first this relationship with God, and then my decision and being honest in what I do and what I want to do.
– Thank you for accepting the invitation and for wanting to be here with us and share your experience and your beautiful testimony with us.
– The pleasure is ours.
– Thank you very much! See you in a month!