WHO AM I FOR?
– Listen, Monika and Marcin – apart from the fact that they are running the project – are also the parents of a wonderful three and they share their experience of such a life both in the family and with God with others, and it seems to me that it is because of the fact that life with God, and in the family, we can speak of you as such a small community of yours. Do you agree with this statement?
– Yes, definitely
– And what will the community give you? How would you define it?
– Well, you are talking to a married couple, so this is the first thought that comes to my mind – that we are in this marriage community first of all, because we have been presented as “that apart from running the project, we are also parents” – we like to repeat that we primarily we are all parents, we are a married couple, and then only parents – as our children know. Well, I have to say it, because I remembered now – I believe it’s from the Holy Spirit – it happened recently in the morning that Adaś said to dad: “Well, you are hugging again, but have fun with us!”. And then dad says to Adam: “Mummy is the most important to me.” And Adaś says: “It’s not true, the Lord Jesus is the most important, and then mom!”
– During the conversation with young people, various answers are given to this question, mainly such responses from church communities, known – it seems to me – to most of us, but before I direct this question to you, let’s listen to what you have to say to us at community theme.
– The question I want to ask you now: “Which communities can we belong to?”
– To the Church, to family, to friends, to school groups, such as the classroom.
– To the Oasis, altar boys, to some biblical circle …
– And these are specific church communities for you. Are you able to name any other communities to which we may belong?
– Could there be sports clubs?
– We can belong to a national community, we can belong to a family, we can belong to acquaintances, friends, we can be in the Church, we can be part of an Oasis or altar boys, we can – I think – belong to a circle of interest, we can belong to a class or generally groups of students at school and at school, for example, we can belong to a theater group, maybe also a sports club – very differently.
– First of all, the family, Oasis can also be, let’s assume a class at school, some biblical circle.
– Thank you very much for that. Well, now I am addressing this question to you: “Which communities can we belong to? Where can we fulfill ourselves in this community? ”
– Well, I think that this is a wrong reasoning when we say that we belong to a community. Because it is so that – as if it is normal, it is inscribed in our humanity – we are creatures that are just created to live in a community. So we naturally want to belong somewhere, but I don’t think that’s the right term. First of all, we belong to God – as if to start with the fact that we strive for closeness, contact, meeting with others, because we are created out of love for Love – through Him, through God who is a community. We come from God, who is a community of Persons and that is why we are “drawn” to another, “drawn” to the wife, to the husband, this is how God planned it and it is in marriage – for the most part – that we fulfill our life vocation. And this is something that is most natural and obvious to us, but of course this community can be realized on various levels. And of course you can live in marriage and live side by side; it is possible to live in a family, and if not to benefit from this great gift which is the family community. Of course, there are many reasons, I think that the most common reason is that in the modern world relations fail: we are unable to communicate with each other, we are unable to create lasting relationships, lasting bonds – a bit because we rejected God’s plan, we reject Him, We reject God, we do not look at him, we do not really know how to do it and that is why we give it up very often and even if we had desires – and I believe that every human being has such a desire – to create some kind of relationship based on love, to create a family community. it is in the heart of every young person. Later, somewhere at different stages of our lives, we give it up for some reason. We deeply believe that God, who is the giver of life, who is also the giver of love and is Love, turning towards Him can – and basically only turning towards Him – can repair all these …
– But I would also like to add – referring to these answers also of young people – that when we turned to him, we also needed to belong to the community, to people. We wanted to be among people who have similar thinking about us, who share similar values, as if being in such a community of people who think similarly strengthened us so much then, at the beginning of our journey with God, that ultimately it was very much for us. important – these were people who convinced us with their lives that it is possible, that it is possible, that it is beautiful and that it is worth living in this way. I think that at the beginning it was a great help for us, and later also such a strengthening in faith.
– I’m glad, Marcin, that you said about the relationship and communication, because – here, Beloved, I refer you to the second and third episode, where we also talk about it, and as you can see here – this is the basis for continuing this happiness in such a community, it is also a family one, to pursue. Exactly – to pursue happiness, that is, as if this love with faith, it is also giving something – we get something, we give something – such, one might say, a bit of an exchange transaction “something for something”. So what can we give from ourselves to other people? Besides so much…. Perhaps I will not be ahead of the facts. Let’s hear what the young people want to say about it.
– Co możemy dać od siebie drugiemu człowiekowi?
“We can support him by saying something or showing him some things. Mmmmm…. we can help you simply!
– We can help another person, say a good word, console the other person.
– We can give him our help, we can offer him our time, we can, for example, organize something for him, we can help him in organizing something, we can just be for him – for example, we can go out with him on various outings, we can also support financially – very different things.
– First of all, we can help him, we can give a gift, we can generally show support – be it emotional or financial.
– Exactly, that is, such very “common” things, that is, we can give a word, we can give time, we can give a smile. What else do you think we can give to another person, and what will be valuable to them?
– The phrase “barter transaction” was mentioned and it is precisely, indeed, we often point out to it somewhere, the kind of “barter trade” in relations that necessarily appears; it is important not to have it on purpose, that it is not our goal, that I will give to receive something. As if it really happens in marriage, I think especially, each day is really an opportunity to serve each other – this “service” is again a word that comes to my mind when we talk about giving and receiving too, because indeed that’s how it is in this marriage. The answer was “time” – it is my language of love, this valuable time, so I would also like to mention it. There are actually a lot of different things in this “time”, but that is what this service is, something that I consider very valuable as I observe our daily routine; there is so little of this time and we miss it very much, so the more that we want to share it is extremely valuable – we often have to give up something for ourselves to be able to share this time with the other.
– And it acquires much more value for you than before, because in this understanding of being with each other, as if sharing, where we simply meet somewhere cyclically, well, okay – I am, I manage my house from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., I’m here for these people and you can say “business done.” And yet here we are in a situation where it is not that you will find that “okay, Marcin is together from six to eight”, because there are children, there are duties, there are friends, there is also a family, so you need this time. and this giving of yourself should be managed a little differently.
– I would start by saying that we can only give what I have. If we do not have ourselves, we are not able to control ourselves, over all the things that distract us from the realization of the vocation, that is, in my case, the presence of dad in the lives of my children. If I can’t, then it’s hard for me to give it to a child. Because sometimes it is so that we are even physically with another human being, but in fact thoughts, all these feelings are far away; and we wait a bit, “let this meeting end”, “let him finally understand”. Meanwhile, living in a relationship is actually dying, it is actually giving up something good – because it is not that we renounce what is bad, it is normal, but we sometimes give up something good just for the greater good . And that, I think, is the most important. But when you asked about what we could give, I thought we could give .. – it is with our son, who is here coming into the frame – we can give what is the greatest value that we have received, that is forgiveness. As we can read in the Gospel according to St. Matthew, in the eighteenth chapter – there is a “note” in some Scriptures, in some translations – “Relationships in the community of disciples.” And this chapter eighteen ends with Peter asking, “Lord, how many times do I have to forgive? Or seven? ”. And then the Lord Jesus tells: “Not seven, but seventy-seven times” and tells this parable about a debtor whose merciful lord forgives 10,000 talents. And this is it, we know today that in a marriage or in a family, or in general in every human relationship, this is the greatest value, this is the greatest good that we can receive. This is the greatest strength of the community – forgiveness. And it’s not easy, and very often it’s the hardest thing in life. I think that anyone who has ever had any unforgiveness knows how difficult it is to make a decision to forgive – it’s one or two – to be patient with the fact that it does not come, this forgiveness, so immediately and as if in our feelings it continues there is some just scratch, wound. I think this is the most important thing.
– Well, because we can say a lot about the foundation, about the relationship, about how to talk to each other, but when there is some disagreement and we will not be able to forgive each other, that’s really all we have worked out earlier, will be for nothing. And the last question that comes to mind, which also came to my mind during the conversation with young people, is: “Who am I for? Who are you for? ”
– For people, for myself and for God.
– Family, friends, God.
– I am for God, I am for family, I am for my circle of friends, I am for Oasis, I am for people who need, perhaps, a good word that I can offer; I’m for people who have questions that I know the answers to, and I’m for people who – maybe – just need a bit of time that I can offer them.
– First of all, I think that I am for other people and for God.
– Exactly – who am I for?
– Well, we are for God, but we are; Marcin shows here, the conversation with Adam returns – well, we are for those children who are now banging on and trying to get our attention because they really need it – and it’s also so unusual that these children, they just say: “Look at me ! ”. You know, sometimes we say, “But I am … but I am with you,” but I do other things. “Look at me! Listen, listen to me! ”. Amazing how a child is so childishly simple, it just asks for it. Sometimes we don’t, maybe we want to say something between words, not so directly …
– Or we are ashamed to say that I need your presence.
– Children strive very much for our attention. It is different in marriage, because sometimes we do not want it directly, but I think we learn it – in the sixth year of marriage it becomes easier for us to be for ourselves. To be, just to be, not to do something for whatever, but this presence somewhere – we often forget about it, really. People say: “time is money” – I tell you – time is love, this love, making love, just being with another human being, we are for each other, we are given to each other in this world, so I would like to be a wife first of all for my husband, then a mother for my children, because I know that when I am a wife for my husband, I will also be a good mother.
– It’s nice that you also marked this role, because we often see: “I want to be a good girl, wife, daughter”, but exactly – for whom, for what and in what order. And also the sixth year of marriage, which means we get to know each other better – someone would say: “well, after so many years, it …”, and sometimes you talk somewhere “I’m already a year with my boyfriend, and he still doesn’t understand what I mean if I don’t speak for half a day “, and here you show that for whom and how, sometimes it may take several years …
– Yes, and probably for the next six or twelve – God give us! – or sixty, we will remember with a smile how we thought we knew each other in the sixth year of marriage; because we believe that every day we will perfect ourselves in this love and it will be better and better – hopefully!
– Because it is so, that we are called to marriage, that is, this is our first life mission, and “this is how they will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another”. It is even difficult to live for our children when we do not live for ourselves, because if we do not live for ourselves, we do not live for God. It is such an amazing truth that we have to fall in love first of all in this spousal relationship in order to be for children, and then the Holy Spirit will show who we are for – He will guide us about those people who are in need. Love has it that it spills over, it means it is given to us, but it is always in excess and then the Holy Spirit shows us where we can carry it, where we can spill it – whether on the Internet or somewhere …
– Today the easiest way is on the Internet.
– No need to contemplate it – God will guide. Only first you have to give your life to Him. How to understand? Just how to live for Him? And because you will live for another human being, you cannot live for God only for Himself. Even someone who enters a closed, cloistered order ultimately lives for another person; this is, of course, a mystery of faith, because sometimes people do not understand it “well, how do they close themselves, instead of here there are so many needs”, but this is depth, only a few have the grace to understand it, but in fact the good spills out on all mankind.
– And we confirm that this is what happens in our marriage, that the closer we are to God, the more we are for him, the more we are for ourselves, that it just happens like that, it is the fruit of our closeness to God. That is the Lord of that closeness with another man then.
– After what you say, I can see the image of the Lord God pouring out His grace on us, we are this umbrella, it spills out from us to the next and a bit like twigs that continue to take root and they lead our faith and God, and it seems to me that this is also our mission to fulfill God in our everyday life, in marriage, in parenthood, in being friends, neighbors, whoever. Listen, I thank you very much for this conversation, I am very happy, I also thank you very much for each of your words, I believe that it will arrive a lot and that it will be something fresh for you, something new and something different than what you said or what you may have heard elsewhere will be such a summary. Thank you very much, and we’ll see you in a month. With God, bye!
– Best wishes!
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