TWO LOVING HEARTS
God bless. My name is Sister Catherine, I am the handmaid of the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Immaculate Conception, and this year I have made my perpetual vows. I come from the parish of Smęgorzów, and currently I am in an institution in Tarnów, where I work in our kindergarten. I was asked what the Eucharist is for me. The only answer I can give is that the Eucharist is love.
The time of the Eucharist is for me an intimate meeting of two loving people, two loving hearts: Jesus and mine. I used to wonder: is it possible to give someone something more than yourself? This is what Jesus does, every day, during every Holy Mass – he gives himself to me. I would like to give myself to Jesus, so perfect. However, I quickly realized that this was not the point … Jesus wants me real. Weak, sinful, imperfect, imperfect – as I am today. I firmly believe that just as Jesus transforms bread into His Body and wine into His Blood, so He has the power to change my life. Right this imperfect, but how true. He can transform them not as I would like, but as He wants. Jesus knows better. The time of the Eucharist is a moment for me to calm down, to entrust to Jesus my everyday life: duties, relationships, friendship, what is joyful and beautiful. Also what is difficult, what creates me every day without pretending. This is the moment when I honestly stand before Him and give Him sometimes empty hands, sometimes maybe nothing, but I am. I think the most important thing in a relationship with Jesus is to be present. Sometimes I have such moments that I enter church hearing the noise from the street, people talking, various noises. I enter the Church, and silence. It’s amazing to me how this silence says it all. This silence expresses so much, gives so much peace and soothing. Silence that is not disturbing, is not some reproach or something that disturbs or irritates. No matter if I am at the solemn Holy Mass in the church, or if it is a silent Mass in the chapel – He is always the same. It is amazing for me that Jesus never changes and is always so… beautiful for me. My most beautiful meetings with Him? I will certainly meet Him in the word of God. During the liturgy of word at every Mass, but also in my personal prayer with the Word, through which Jesus shows me His true self. The Word that shows me the way shows me how to live in order to follow Jesus. A word that shows me His great love for every human being, which marks the paths in my life that guides me. The moment of the transformation of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Jesus, the moment of consecration, is also the time of my personal consecration. The one that Jesus does anew each day is amazing to me because Jesus shows me what it means to be for others. It is allowing others to break me, for others to cost me, for others to get what they need from me, what Jesus gives them through me. I do not understand this, but I believe that if I let Him lead me, I let Jesus decide about me, about my life, thanks to which He can give Himself to others through me. He can change others, but only when I let him, because when I withdraw, Jesus will not be able to act. It is extremely difficult because I would like to control my life somehow, and Jesus teaches me otherwise: I accept your life, so let me act. The most beautiful moment of the day is the moment of Holy Communion, in which Jesus and I are one – we are one body. Nothing matters anymore, only us. Silence, meeting, presence, love. My personal adoration of the Lord Jesus hidden in the Blessed Sacrament is very important to me, during which I look at Him and He looks at me. The moment when words are too little. Sometimes silence, presence and the certainty that He loves me even though I am not perfect, I make mistakes and sin. It doesn’t matter because His love never changes. This is the most important thing for me. Every day I wake up knowing that His love is always the same: strong, deep, true. A love that knows no bounds, which showed me on the cross that I am the most important to Him, and that brings me to others every day. Praise the Lord for this!